Now that little things have once again become important ,
And the pain of seeing big dreams crumble and die down has ended.....
It seems like life is like a clear sky after the dark clouds have floated away and so fresh like the green and shinning nature after a breezy shower........
Life is simple, beautiful and easy.......I realise it now and then.....keep forgetting it easily when troubles start ruling my mind and all the blessings seem small infront of tem.....
I jus wanna learn how to feel grateful always for the beauty and simplicity that my life is filled with like the faith of my parents ....and the love of those who matter and the ,money to buy me enough to enjoy my life and so much more....
Let me learn to forget all thats so small .....so small infront of all that I have ....my blessings ...and luck that save e every now and then....
Like the other day ....when I thought I have no money.....I found a folded 100 bucks in the tiny pocket of my bag....and just so much when I wanted to travel by an autio ...being in no mood to fight my way through the stinky crowd in the bus.......
God kept my little desire ....took care of my mood....I should not forget to thank him for this....!!!
Monday, July 9, 2007
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Chasing ....my Thoughts ......Offfffffffff
Do we build life.....create life .....or live it?
well there are so many times when i feel like writing whats in my mind , but then without falling into any thought process propelled by the idea or my intention to write...I want to write just that very thought that is floating in my mind in that very moment . Even right now, I want to write whatever is walking the lanes of my mind...without even me knowing about it.
I feel ......much beyond what I am thinking right now and writing ....theres something else that my mind and thoughts were preoccupied with ...that my conscious mind knows not. I mean theres no way I am ever able to catch my silent thoughts . As soon as I direct all my focus within my own mind to view those silent thoughts playing in my mental garden.....they seem to just vanish and run away as if someone scary is trying to chase them and they would not let it happen !!
Ohhh......even now what I wrote wasa product of the application of my thoughts on my thoughts...yaeh exactly u are rite its all so jumbled up.....whereas I just wanted to observe what was going on within me throughout the day.....and I wanted to observe and pen them down here.........
Any way.....my luck might just get better nextime....I failed this time...though I see my fingers moving on the keyboard with the speed of my thoughts as if not to make any single thought wait for me to register it over here....else it would mind the wait and slip away......!!
I caught you all.....see..:)))
well there are so many times when i feel like writing whats in my mind , but then without falling into any thought process propelled by the idea or my intention to write...I want to write just that very thought that is floating in my mind in that very moment . Even right now, I want to write whatever is walking the lanes of my mind...without even me knowing about it.
I feel ......much beyond what I am thinking right now and writing ....theres something else that my mind and thoughts were preoccupied with ...that my conscious mind knows not. I mean theres no way I am ever able to catch my silent thoughts . As soon as I direct all my focus within my own mind to view those silent thoughts playing in my mental garden.....they seem to just vanish and run away as if someone scary is trying to chase them and they would not let it happen !!
Ohhh......even now what I wrote wasa product of the application of my thoughts on my thoughts...yaeh exactly u are rite its all so jumbled up.....whereas I just wanted to observe what was going on within me throughout the day.....and I wanted to observe and pen them down here.........
Any way.....my luck might just get better nextime....I failed this time...though I see my fingers moving on the keyboard with the speed of my thoughts as if not to make any single thought wait for me to register it over here....else it would mind the wait and slip away......!!
I caught you all.....see..:)))
"SeaSoNaL LoVeR"....Me....yeah Not seAsOn BuT sEaSoNaL LoVer....GOd SaVe Me....!!!!
With a real bothering headache..I write this Blog...seems I have a reason to be happy...may be I am looking forward to something beautiful happening after sometime..later in the day...that makes me ignore my headache so easily and stay so happy....
I also feel its something to do with the weather....Rains and spring two seasons in the year....when I fall in love with everything appening in my life ...and ofcourse with someone whose the best at that point in time in the corridors of my life...Yeah...I am a seasonal Lover....HuH...
Wow ...I like that coinage ... "Seasonal Lover"
It just rained outside while I was busy working on an Ecel Sheet.....frankly speaking I was enjoyin it today.....unlike the other times when I struggle with these cells and rows and columns.....all because I now and then took a glimpse of the rain falling on the big glass pains of the windows just behind me......Green leaves at the top of the tall tall trees as if dancing to the music of the rain...or the music of the wind... only they know better what...I felt like theres no reason to worry in life...
Not even about living away from my parents when they need me so much with them for reasons that are more emotional than for any other reason...and not even when I am not enjoying the kind of work I get paid for....not even when I do not know...what I want to do next if not this work...not even when I have so many pending tasks ahead to be completed on a sunday thats tomorrow...not even when I have no money on me these das and am indebted till neck ...not even when m running out necessities in life...not even when I havent found thAT someone special I would feel proud and blessed to introduce to my parents ....not even when I have this bad migraine headache that refuses to leave me ...trying hard to spoil my evening I so much wait for.....
Afterall SaTUrday Evenings are my incentive/motivation/or whatever you may say....for the whole week....:))
I also feel its something to do with the weather....Rains and spring two seasons in the year....when I fall in love with everything appening in my life ...and ofcourse with someone whose the best at that point in time in the corridors of my life...Yeah...I am a seasonal Lover....HuH...
Wow ...I like that coinage ... "Seasonal Lover"
It just rained outside while I was busy working on an Ecel Sheet.....frankly speaking I was enjoyin it today.....unlike the other times when I struggle with these cells and rows and columns.....all because I now and then took a glimpse of the rain falling on the big glass pains of the windows just behind me......Green leaves at the top of the tall tall trees as if dancing to the music of the rain...or the music of the wind... only they know better what...I felt like theres no reason to worry in life...
Not even about living away from my parents when they need me so much with them for reasons that are more emotional than for any other reason...and not even when I am not enjoying the kind of work I get paid for....not even when I do not know...what I want to do next if not this work...not even when I have so many pending tasks ahead to be completed on a sunday thats tomorrow...not even when I have no money on me these das and am indebted till neck ...not even when m running out necessities in life...not even when I havent found thAT someone special I would feel proud and blessed to introduce to my parents ....not even when I have this bad migraine headache that refuses to leave me ...trying hard to spoil my evening I so much wait for.....
Afterall SaTUrday Evenings are my incentive/motivation/or whatever you may say....for the whole week....:))
Friday, July 6, 2007
.........For a gooODY gOOOODY Friend ....I thank u God!!
.........Now that I saw you reading this....I felt like I've found a friend ....so honest and so much near....!!!
The very realisation of this fact brings so much of a satisfaction to me ...that I feel I am blessed and lucky....and that God loves me for sure....even though I dont remember him often!!!
Hey God ....has strange ways of bringing people into our life...sometimes they just dont seem to be there when they are always there and .......sometimes they were never there ...when all you thought was their Love, support and are!!
Strange ya....U are strange God....Love Ya....for this one...a cute fren...whom you've just dropped in my life as if ....u were dropping Gifts from heaven ...and I got this one!! :)
The very realisation of this fact brings so much of a satisfaction to me ...that I feel I am blessed and lucky....and that God loves me for sure....even though I dont remember him often!!!
Hey God ....has strange ways of bringing people into our life...sometimes they just dont seem to be there when they are always there and .......sometimes they were never there ...when all you thought was their Love, support and are!!
Strange ya....U are strange God....Love Ya....for this one...a cute fren...whom you've just dropped in my life as if ....u were dropping Gifts from heaven ...and I got this one!! :)
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Love contradicts itself.....
.......Theres a very wierd kind of a fear that suddenly hits me strong on my face and leaves my heart pounding loudly.....wheneveryou say something about the future....whenever you tell me you want to do this. and this and this, and this......Somehow for yet not so strange reasons I start praying that you stop sharing yor plans with me.
What if these plans.....never see the light of the day.....and you leave me .....with the memories of your unrealised dreams. That would hurt so much when you are no longer there and without having seen your deep desires or even the trivial ones realised in your lifetime.
Yeah Trur for sure fera of loosing is one of the worst varieties of fear that can take anyone in its grip. It so much overpowers me whenever I look at your tired body....., and the lines on your face , and the pepper and salt hair, and the pains that you complain of rarely though, and the medicines that have become a part of your routine, your life now. I dont want to lose you, and not with unfulfilled dreams for sure.
But , I understand the reality too and so I fear.......being haunted by the memories of the things that you so much wanted to see happen in your own lifetime.....really I fear listening to your desires now....
My love for you is strange....it sure gives me strength all the times , and also it makes me weak and broken when I realise I can Lose you anytime.......
"Love is like a stubborn child.......you will hate it for the pain it brings to you.....and yet you will so much want it around ...everywhere..... all the times"
What if these plans.....never see the light of the day.....and you leave me .....with the memories of your unrealised dreams. That would hurt so much when you are no longer there and without having seen your deep desires or even the trivial ones realised in your lifetime.
Yeah Trur for sure fera of loosing is one of the worst varieties of fear that can take anyone in its grip. It so much overpowers me whenever I look at your tired body....., and the lines on your face , and the pepper and salt hair, and the pains that you complain of rarely though, and the medicines that have become a part of your routine, your life now. I dont want to lose you, and not with unfulfilled dreams for sure.
But , I understand the reality too and so I fear.......being haunted by the memories of the things that you so much wanted to see happen in your own lifetime.....really I fear listening to your desires now....
My love for you is strange....it sure gives me strength all the times , and also it makes me weak and broken when I realise I can Lose you anytime.......
"Love is like a stubborn child.......you will hate it for the pain it brings to you.....and yet you will so much want it around ...everywhere..... all the times"
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