Let me stay your child!!!

what is that the mind knows as the word "success"??
It doesnt attract me......if the definition is laced with losing peace of mind andthen getting barely 5 hours of sleep in a day, a tired body throughout theday, not getting time enough to call up friends and add a bit of feekings into them form time to time, not doing things like sitting idle for hours doodling my pen on a plain sheet and waiting for just that one line that can strike a chord with my hungry for words soul.......whats this money earning business all about afterall. Whose gonna take it all anyway??

I can't seem to stop having the fun out of the day to be able to earn more and more and more and............................................>>>>>>to be able to enjoy tomorrow./ Who knows if I am to see one or not??
Complacency....this is what else sometimes it comes to me. But then , I have always been like this. If this still is "complacency ina way" , I seriously cant be active . I am seriously careless about so many things that largely matter to so many of "my age".......fun for me is not just in earning more to be able to spend more on myself. Its about having enough time to know that I am growing, that I am enjoying what I do, that I am adding aa bit of my style to the way things are around me, to be able to sit with special friends holding hands and listening to the noises falling into deep wells of silence within me, doing things that I so much like to do, rather than postponing them sine die........Hh there are many things that money can't buy......yeah!! for everything else I need mastermind///a mind thats free.....and happy and can scream , and laugh and cry and ask questions and learn more and experience things, and explore myself and the beautiful people and world around me........!!

work is fine .....but losing on the way the one for whom I earn.........."MyselF".........the one for what I earn....."Peace and joy" how intelligent is that?? Even peanuts cause starin and stres and lack of time.

The lack of time syndrome ....was enough for me to realie that I need to manage my time well now......else no matter how big a balance I have on am cell.......I'll keep thinking whom to call up.....since moving ahead washed away all that I came with ......a bargain in which I had to lose much to gain more.......
I seriously cant see this happeningto mylife and the ones that stay in it as my loved ones ......beyond all success ....lies the joy of knowing that I have not built castles without someone to knock into the doors of my castles!!!


God , I pray .....and if you listen to the one who thinks of you very few times in life......"Give me the joy that is beyond greed......let me keep enjoyingthe little pleasure of life ......let me be easy ....andinnocent and .....and let me spreadthe joy thats within me.....and give the strength to believe ....and keep believing in all that I wrote today.........coz Iknow this is the truth.....and truth is alwaystestedby time.
Give the strength to come out of all those tests of time .....with flying colours....still living and believing in simplicity......love .......and .....fun...!!!"

Amen!!!!

...Daily surprises..From me to me!!

....sometimes, I feel that I need to talk it out to myself to get a clearer picture of the state of affairs with me ...And when I take the first step towards isolation , I feel an urgent need to sit down with someone, who could hear my silent thoughts , the unquiet side of my mind ....while I do all the thinking. I don't know , who is it....I try to befool..."me" or "the one with whom I sit and try to talk" , but at the back of my mind I know ,I need to stay calm, quiet and undisturbed. I need sometime by myself, all by myself.....I need to see the Ghosts of my life walking , and I need to face them on my own. But then why have I suddenly been so incapable of handling myself all alone???!! Why have I started feeling that, I need someone to cheer me up and pull me out of this rut?? And all this when I so much Know the only one I can trust is the last one I should!!!

I am going through a phase , wherein I am surprised at every moment to discover my hidden needs, my unexplored self....and just when I think I have got hold over my actual and real self , I change and I surprise myself all this while.



wHo says....No one can understand anyone....I say the deal is to be able to understand our ownself...quiet cliched I know , but I can't overule whats so rue , and what I am experiencing day in and day out.....just to be able to come up with something new.....in the literary sphere!!!!