...all tOpsy turvy ....PhAse!!!

why does it have to be like this......???
I hate to begin a conversation with questions though.....but smetimes I js dont seem to be having even some sort of a symbolic answer to few issues.....find my self so screwed up with things at times....so much so dat.......forget about seeing light at the end of da tunnel.....I dont even see its end....!!!!

HmmhMMM..seems as if life wil no more be systematic...in control....in my charge...its got all so tied up in strange and wierd issues...like ...being back in da hostel by 8:30 pm ....leaving for da office by 8:30 am .....wishing clothes da whole sunday...completeing assignments for college...getting top ups done too often n still running out of balance always ...when need be for an urgent call...daily standing infront of da wardrobe thinking wot to wear for office......hoping I'll find smethng old yet new to wear...as if ma wardrobe would have been generating babies out of ma stacked clothes....walking daily in n out of da office sharing a secret wid maslf which none can imagine lives....(come close n I'll whisper.....or I think its better to leave it rite there...)

Its really not all dat funny....wheres da time ....time is not being friendly to me nwadays...it gets long wn I want it short ....n it flies away...wn I want it longer....!!!
Planning is smething dat cnt find a way with anything in ma life ...be it meeting frens, attending family functions....completing pending assignments...buying daily necessities...studying..reading da newspaper...atleast listening to sme news ....doing yoga...a l'lle buit f routine in life....No way..!!

I really knw ...its js a phase n so m able to stand it f so long nw....kind f njoyin it too...but nw for once I want things settled ...atleast sme routin needs to get into action else ...I'll live such a tribal hush up life day in n day out all thru.....c'mmon let me have bgin wid having sme lunch its already 3:30 nw..!!

NoTHiNg DoINg...

NOTHING DOING....!!!!

m like wot....???? wot m I upto ....damn it??? wot ?? is is that nothings going rite .....or I am all for da wrong direction....!!!1God ....don't tell me even u don't knw..!! u dnt wanna tell ...dats okay still....but I need to confirm atleast one personn knows ....what on earth m I doing at this shitty place ...called office!

its just not what I am meant to be doing ...in life! If nothing else, atleast I am really sure about this , that m not gonna vile away my creative splurge of energy here in smelling these dusty files and passing contended smiles at these C-rated devoid of self respect individuals!!

who says work is difficult or boring...its all about the team with which you are ordained to work!!
And m not good with asses for sure!!

its kind of weird......smetimes...u js stop feeling !!!And then u js absolutely ...stand a mute spectator to everything happening around you!!I may be wrong ...may be just too correct...I can't care less...but I guess its when ...little things in life go unnoticed about....that the hault comes and then stagnancy!!

Now ....when does that happen ....little things n all dat not mattering state...when da heart can't reach out for the thoughts....and thoughts can't reach out for feelings....Sounds all haywire to you...rite?it is but....very simple, very staright!!!Going into a shell and coming out does help...once but not always....what would help forever is staying i touch with the little things around!! A special smile that came your way, a warm hug ....dat came as a surprise, a call dat u had dumped in limbo of hope......a message dat says u r special , u r important to someone.....a flower that grew suddenly... u didnt get a hint when; cool breeze flowing through your hair n you feeling like a beauty that fears no rejections, trust in the eyes of a child ......that says come play with me, I like you......a squirrel crossing your way and suddenly not moving ...not fearing you......so much.....theres so much to make us happy around !!1


......And losing into it ....seems difficult?? Waiting for something that ....would come our way journeying through the galleries of hope and future.....I stand here thinking how many times I failed to smile back at a Rose, a little Bird, a stranger, a friend......all those times when I thought life's not giving me my share of it!!1

how foolish ...how sane ....how kiddish ...hw greedy......I can be!!!

hey life .....hold me in your arms ....and I would never let you go......my smiles fixed ....n joys becoming easy!!!!
.......love me life....I love you lots!!!